


Kiss/Bang

by kriegersan



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:53:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kriegersan/pseuds/kriegersan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Archer/Lana fills for a Tumblr kissing meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss/Bang

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for sexytime, character death in one of the fills, and schmoopyness because... schmoochy boochy time. Also, no betaing, as these were quickie fills, apologies for any weird sentence structure.
> 
> Prompts are:
> 
> 1\. “Good morning” kiss  
> 2\. Kiss on the forehead  
> 3\. Drunk/sloppy kiss  
> 4\. Awkward kiss  
> 5\. Angry kiss  
> 6\. “I’m sorry” kiss  
> 7\. “I’ve missed you” kiss  
> 8\. Seductive kiss  
> 9\. “War’s End” kiss  
> 10\. “Goodbye” kiss  
> 11\. “I almost lost you” kiss  
> 12\. Kiss on the nose  
> 13\. Kiss on the ear  
> 14\. Kiss on the neck  
> 15\. Kiss on the back  
> 16\. French kiss  
> 17\. Shy kiss  
> 18\. Surprised kiss  
> 19\. Sad kiss  
> 20\. Exhausted parents kiss  
> 21\. Jealous kiss  
> 22\. Giggly kiss  
> 23\. Last kiss  
> 24\. Returned from the dead kiss  
> 25\. “We can never be together” kiss
> 
> If you want to prompt me (for any pairing), I can be found at highandholy.tumblr.com. As always, I love reviews, and kudos, and cookies and dick pics.

**1\. Good morning kiss - (Takes place after ‘Pocket Listing’)**

It’d been a few years since he’d woken up with someone else. At someone else’s place. Even more years since that person was Lana, especially a Lana that’d curled up under his arm, as opposed to on the other side of the bed, with her back to him, laying awake hating herself for hours on end.

He laid there for a moment, not sure if he was dreaming, before Lana shifted in his hold, mumbling into his neck. After a moment, she sniffed, coming up onto her elbow. “Hi,” she said, eyes closed, hair sticking straight up off her face.

“Wow, Lana. That’s a good look for you.” And, honestly, it was. He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, all of a sudden, feeling weird and vulnerable and sort of tingly and his arm was asleep and he couldn’t stop looking at her weird little smile, the eyeliner smudged halfway down her cheek, the marks on her neck where he’d been unable to help himself.

Before his brain could catch up, he cupped her cheek with his hand, pushed himself up to kiss her, morning breath be damned. Lana made a happy noise, bumping her nose against his, and everything felt weird and good and a little scary, and he couldn’t help but hold his breath a bit as he laid back down.

“Mm,” she retorted, landing her head down next to him, sliding her palm across his chest, fingers teasing the edge of his collarbone. “I don’t think I can move. Like ever again. I haven’t been fucked like that, for that long in, like, I don’t even know how long. It was long. Your dick, I mean. And all those orgasms. I can’t.”

“Yeah, well, you can get used to it.” He paused. “I mean, if you want--”

“Archer.”

“I know, we didn’t really talk about--”

“Archer.”

“Lana, I just really want to be like… this. With you.”

“...You want to get back together? And try this again, uh, for real?” She didn’t sound quite sure of it, herself.

Oh God, quick, think of a witty response. Or something that didn’t make him sound like a total asshat, or an excited puppy or like he didn’t desperately want to be with her. Or that he wasn’t internally freaking out at a whole new scenario of Lana possibly rejecting him for all of eternity because he was an idiot who didn’t know how to relationship.

“Duh,” was all that flew out of his mouth, before Lana laughed at him, nuzzling into his side, his arms coiling around her midsection to pull her tighter against him. “I meant yes. God yes.”

He kissed the top of her forehead, and mostly promised himself he wouldn’t fuck it up this time. He couldn’t afford not to.

**5\. Angry kiss - (Pre!Season 1, an off-again period in their relationship)**

“No, _fuck you_ , Archer, I’m done! I’m so done!”

“Are you done, though?”

“Yes, Archer, I am done. I will _shoot you_.”

“You don’t have a gun, idiot.”

She looked down at her hand, mouth open, like she’d forgotten. Sure enough, no gun.

“Well, I will _knife you_ then.”

“Jesus, Lana, be consistent. You said you were done. And in being done, meaning _finished_ , you won’t--”

Lana moved, and he started, hand flying out to grab her wrist as she arced the knife down towards his arm, Archer twisting her sharply in his hold until she thudded hard against the wall behind her. She fought fiercely, managing to nick his shoulder, until he wrestled both of her wrists above her head, her fingers scrabbling for purchase as he twisted her hand enough, knife falling to the carpet.

“I will fucking _ruin you_ ,” she spat, their face inches apart, her hair standing practically on end, livid, and Archer swooped forward to kiss her, Lana struggling every step of the way, until she moaned, going lax in his vice grip, her tongue fighting to meet his before she bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

**6\. “I’m sorry” kiss**

He can tell from the angle of her eyebrows that despite his somewhat forced apologies (he isn’t even really super sure what the hell he’s supposed to be sorry for), Lana’s far from over it. She isn’t going to let it go for days, going to hold it against him until it crumbles in her fingers. Still, when he leans in, she closes her eyes, but keeps her lips tight at the press of his. When Archer stands back, she still doesn’t look particularly impressed, even as he offers her a sheepish grin.

“So... I assume you have something in mind for me to make this up to you.”

“I have a few ideas.” There’s barely fettered rage in her eyes, and mischief written in the curve of her mouth.

**8\. Seductive kiss - (Pre!Season 1, pre-relationship)**

“Professional, Archer.”

“I am nothing _but_ professional. But you should totally get naked.”

She stuck her hand out, pointing, where she sat on the tiny, disgusting bed. She refused to lay down yet, with no idea if the sheets had been washed in the last century or so. “Stay on that side. That is your side. The designated douchebag area.”

“Lana, this is a tiny bed. We’re bound to like… at least spoon a bit. I mean, logistically speaking, it’s gonna happen, look how little it is.”

“We are not spooning. This is a spoon free zone. The only utensil euphemism we will be making with our bodies are two wooden chopsticks, lying straight and parallel, parted forever to never cross.” 

He smirked at her, turning from the rickety table, fingers hooked in his tie. He slowly pulled it loose, letting it drop to the floor. Lana pretended to pick lint off of her knee, watching him from under her eyelashes.

Archer caught her gaze, staring her down in the small, dingy space appointed as their safehouse, and started undoing the top button on his shirt. Lana’s eyes pinpointed to the flesh bared at the base of his neck as he continued, shouldering off his over shirt and letting it drop to the floor. Next, the undershirt, peeled up over his midsection, flung to the ground, his hair mussed from the friction.

Lana couldn’t stop staring. She swallowed, and by the time she’d pulled herself together, trying to look at his gorgeous, gorgeous face, as opposed to his gorgeous, gorgeous abs, he’d moved closer, was undoing his belt mere inches away from her.

“This is so, so not fair,” she breathed, her hands clenching and unclenching, trying not to reach out to help him undo his buttons. “Archer…”

“I’m just getting changed, Lana. Don’t make it weird. You need to be more...” The belt pulled loose, he let it fall to the floor, one-handed unbuttoning his slacks, sliding the zipper down ever so steadily. “Professional.”

Lana’s breath hitched, laser-focused on the bulge being revealed, where his hands rested lightly.

He knelt down to the floor in front of her, Lana’s eyes following him down the way, his hands sliding up the bare flesh of her thighs, parting her legs. She didn’t stop him, didn’t try to protest, hands fisting the grimy bedsheet, as he watched her carefully, before rising to meet her open mouth with his own. She was liquid then, letting him part her lips, turning to let him in deeper, nerves on fire as his fingers crept up the hem of her dress.

When he stopped abruptly, and pulled back, lips shining, eyebrow cocked, Lana whined low in her throat, eyes fluttering open despite herself. “No, what-- why did you stop? Come back.”

“Professional, Lana. Remember?” Archer’s fingers teased at the line of her panties, her pussy clenching, before he stood back up, and turned away, leaving Lana, wet and wanting, to internally agonize over the finer points of professional conduct with your new boss’ son.

**11\. “I almost lost you” kiss**

Lana woke up to a steady beep. She blinked, slowly, feeling like she was half underwater, her head fuzzy. Everything felt slow. Inhaling, she grimaced, her throat like barbed wire and ash.

“Lana?”

She tried to turn her head, finding it difficult to do much more than look in his direction. Archer had definitely seen better days, stubble down his neck, shirt wrinkled. Where the hell was she? Her throat was too dry to talk. She mostly grunted. God, did she really sound like that? Truckasaurus, much.

Archer darted forward, and was on her, his lips on her forehead, mouth, cheeks. She was vaguely aware of something wet, his forehead hard against her temple.

“--thought you were never gonna wake up, don’t _do_ that to me, or I swear to shit, I’ll I don’t fucking know… _die_. I don’t know. I’m sorry, Lana, Jesus, I--”

“Hi,” she managed, sounding like she drank a cup of rocks. She could barely move her arms. “Ow.” He jumped back like he’d been burned, eyes wide. She wiggled her fingers, and he took her hand.

A lady in a nice white hat arrived behind him, followed by a glowering Malory. Lana strained to inhaled. “W--happen?” 

“We’ll talk about it later. Just shut up and get better, stupid.” His eyes were wet. Lana breathed out, an ocean in her lungs.

**15\. Kiss on the back - (Pre!Season 1, on a mission, on-again)**

Lana was on her stomach in the dirt next to him, rifle steady in her hands, eyes focused through the sights on the doorway almost a mile below them. They’d been stuck on the mountain doing recon for days, and Lana, wanting to do her best, had mostly ignored him the entire time, meditating or whatever hippie dippie shit she did while countersniping. 

She shifted on her elbows, her knees sliding wider, the curve of her lower back pushing her ass higher, and he couldn’t help but look. “Focus,” she growled at him, and Archer laughed, sliding back up to her side, binoculars in one hand.

“I am focused, Lana.”

“On the target, dickfoot, not my ass.”

Archer bullied his way over her and pinned her hips with his weight, ignoring her squawks as he pressed his mouth against the bare part of her lower back, where her tank top shifted up. “What are you-- oh.”

His hands framed her ribs, Lana’s stomach pulling in at the light touch. He pushed her shirt up, lips following the slow reveal of her spine, her squirming doing nothing to hinder him.

“Wait, shit, stop-- he’s there!” Lana sputtered, tucking her shoulder in against the stock. Archer didn’t stop, hands sliding under her to cup her breasts, feeling the tight inhale she took against his chest. 

She took the shot, and missed exquisitely. The second one, a through and through. His ears rang for the rest of the day, but it was so worth it for the flush to her cheeks and the feigned irritance, Archer soaking up her attention like a sponge.

**20\. Exhausted parents kiss**

A pillow landed on his head, and he groaned, desperately trying to ignore the screaming coming from the next room. If anyone ever told him he’d someday wake up in the middle of every night to a pissed off, teething, vocal toddler he’d have made them eat… fermented shark faces. Or something.

“It’s your turn,” Lana groaned behind him, face buried in a mound of blankets. 

“I thought it was yours.”

“Blowjob says its yours.”

He snorted, pushing up to his elbows, running a hand through his hair. “Lana, I don’t need a blowjob to parent my child. A blowjob, of your own volition, would be much appreciated however. Or a rimjob. I mean, either works, but if I had to pick--”

“Okay, cool, sleep now,” she babbled, turning away from him, pulling the blankets with her. Classic Lana. He crowded up against her back, sliding his hand under her chin. She made a small noise of approval, him leaning down to catch her mouth with his own. It was nice to have her like this, soft and boneless in his arms. She giggled into his mouth, then sighed, mumbling something as he caught her lower lip gently with his teeth.

He kissed his way down her cheek and neck before moving up onto an elbow. Somewhere his clothes existed away from the bed, and somewhere AJ was summoning the devil to curse whatever foul being had caused her teeth to start coming in. Somewhere away from the bed. 

Archer stayed for a minute longer, tracing patterns up and down the exposed parts of Lana’s shoulder, down her clavicle. Then sighed, slipped out, and padded off to AJ’s room.

**23\. Last kiss**

“Go. You have t-to go.”

“I can’t. Lana, I-- please, just please get up, you're totally fine. We just have to--” He looked over his shoulder. There was no time.

She stared up at him, starting to lose focus, fire blooming from the walls around them. Sweat dripped into his eyes, but he didn’t care, couldn’t care while kneeling there in a puddle of Lana’s blood, bodies like a halo around them.

“Shut up.” She swallowed heavily, blood in her mouth, starting to leak out of her nose. “You have to... take care of AJ. Be strong for her.”

“But you--” His voice was tinny and far away in his ears, as Lana weakly reached up, him catching her hand. There was the pop of burning wood further down the hall, the creak of a ceiling caving in, he had to leave. But Lana. He couldn’t just… he couldn’t. “Lana... Lana, please--”

“Archer.” 

He leaned down, brutally kissed her, their joined hands tight between their chests. All he could taste was blood, a hurt, angry noise escaping him as he realized what this meant. By the time he pulled back, Lana’s eyes were closed, but she was smiling, still breathing, if only a little. 

Then, nothing.

The building shuddered ominously beneath him, fire licking down the walls. No time, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t leave Lana like this. Even if she was already gone.


End file.
